Thursday, March 28, 2013

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I have been thinking about love.

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It doesn't come easy for me. I watch my friends do it and I can't do it like they do.

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Sometimes it's easier for me to connect with the person who checks me out in the supermarket. Or the honest passerby asking for directions. The relationships with strangers on the internet. Which gives me pause and makes me feel all messed up.

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Eric is at the farm and I'm in the city. It's not so much about that. When he's gone I eat late, big kale salads that are good. Salad is a hard sell for him. But when I'm done, I'm all 'wow that was a LOT of kale' and I feel sort of sick.

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32 and still confused.

In the end, we all do our best.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you are 32. You are my hero. (You hate this)

Jo said...

We're all a little whacked out when it comes to something. Love is my thing, too. Don't feel too bad about it.

Samin said...

I. LOVE. THIS. POST.

Elizabeth said...

Someone who isn't confused is deluded. We can never be sure of anything. Except that flowers make it better.

Elizabeth McMurtry said...

I find everything about your blog - this post, and especially some of the last few recent ones - so incredibly, overwhelmingly inspiring. Like Anon, I too can't believe you are 32 - you are too my hero. If I can accomplish half of what you have accomplished by 32 I will feel like a rockstar astronaut superhero.

As for confusion, as for doubt - the other Elizabeth said it well, we can never be sure of anything. As the Buddhist teaching goes, all things are subject to change, all life is a state of impermance. We do what we can. And you are doing beautifully.

Don't love like your friends love. Don't be fooled by the easy, single dimensionality of the internet. We are complicated creatures.

Love how you love. Grow in it everyday.

Much love and strength and peace to you. xo

Anonymous said...

I am also thinking about love, the love that Jesus laid down his life to take away our sins so that we can be with him someday in heaven. There is no greater love.

Anonymous said...

I am 55. I see you, at 32, as a glimpse of my future. You're the same age as my daughter.

About love - I don't get it either, and I'm starting think that maybe I never will. I absolutely cannot relate to love songs - strange. I understand and thrive on nature's beauty. Maybe we have beauty as our emotional high, where other people have love. And I crave solitude like a drug and always have.

I do know about dog love - Triumph, Baby, and Bogues - this love I know real good! You know it, too.

Anonymous said...

39 and still confused. No comfort, sorry.

But... your words are mine, the photos pure beauty. Thank you!

count buckula said...

aquarius moon...duh

Anonymous said...

Has it really been two years since your thirtieth birthday party?
If you think other people have the love thing down, you're wrong: life is all about being smacked down by love, being confused by love, feeling unlovable, being unlovable, worried we'll never know love, worried we love too much, worried no one will ever love us, not knowing love when it's sitting on our doorstep.
You're doing just fine.

toko baju muslim said...


Beautifull photos and great blog, especially for me thanks.

Anonymous said...

LOVE is complicated.....
Today I have been checking your last posts/photos and...wowwww...so good Sarah...so inspiring for me.

kisses from Barcelona
FĂ tima

gillian. said...

As gabriel garcia marquez (in much more eloquent language): it's easy to confuse the symptoms of love and cholera.
So, maybe it's not because you ate too much kale.

Wendy c said...

Don't love, just live. Love always shows up when you are living life to the fullest!I know, I am 52!And it's damn hard to always live life to the fullest, so love waxes and wanes.

greenlion said...

Thanks for getting it, and then letting us read it. Love reading your blog lady

Anonymous said...

From the last chapter of Howard's End: (Margaret speaking to her sister Helen)
"It is only that people are far more different than is pretended. All over the world men and women are worrying because they cannot develop as they are supposed to develop. Here and there they have the matter out, and it comforts them. Don't fret yourself, Helen. Develop what you have; love your child. I do not love children. I can play with their beauty and charm, but that is all--nothing real, not one scrap of what there ought to be. And others--others go farther still, and move outside humanity altogether. A place, as well as a person, may catch the glow. Don't you see that all leads to comfort in the end? It is part of the battle against sameness."

monica said...

I appreciate everything you write, and your unflagging honesty, so I don't have anything to add to that... what i want to know is, what kind of a dressing are you putting on the kale....

Ana Volonté said...

a veces sos mi querida ultrayo.
te abrazo como si fueras mi amiga y te invitara a tomar un cognac

magicfish said...

Your words and images and lovely flowers reveal that you do 'get' love.....the deep soul kind of love...

Anonymous said...

Hang in, love is harder when you work with your love, most people hide how hard it is. From someone for whom love is hard and still learning after 20 years of marriage...Married at 34.

Unknown said...

I heard this a long while back, and Its the way I see it, and helps me understand the wandering journey that is love and Life.


Love is real, real is love
Love is feeling, feeling love
Love is wanting to be loved

Love is touch, touch is love
Love is reaching, reaching love
Love is asking to be loved

Love is you
You and me
Love is knowing
We can be

Love is free, free is love
Love is living, living love
Love is needing to be loved

Laura. said...

exactly how i feel.

Anonymous said...

41 and confused too. I identify with the comments about loving nature and loving my dogs. People? not so much. It's difficult. But I try every day. Be easy on yourself.

Anonymous said...

I found love at a highly inconvenient time, in a most unlikely place. Twelve years ago. Turned my life upside down and it's still turning. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's a mess and it's love - no doubt.

olga said...

hi first let me tell you that you are an inspiration.
you're so talented, the way you work with flowers....you're THE BEST.
and the way you use words to express feelings, ideas, a sweet and funny kind of honesty and openness.

you're such a storyteller.

olga said...

hi first let me tell you that you are an inspiration.
you're so talented, the way you work with flowers....you're THE BEST.
and the way you use words to express feelings, ideas, a sweet and funny kind of honesty and openness.

you're such a storyteller.

olga said...

hi first let me tell you that you are an inspiration.
you're so talented, the way you work with flowers....you're THE BEST.
and the way you use words to express feelings, ideas, a sweet and funny kind of honesty and openness.

you're such a storyteller.

Anonymous said...

I hear you, sister. Apparently I'm not the only one who feels this way!

Kimberley said...

Yes. This rules.

mary said...

love. also, kale salads are the best.

buy rs gold said...

first let me tell you that you are an inspiration.
you're so talented, the way you work with flowers....you're THE BEST.
and the way you use words to express feelings, ideas, a sweet and funny kind of honesty and openness. cheap runescape gold

Anonymous said...

Bloody tricky, i'll be 31 in two weeks, my heart still aches for my best friend who left to explore the big wide world. Id never stop him from chasing his dreams, however he constantly haunts mine when i sleep and distracts me from them when im awake. However, if he returned and said he wanted to be with me for eternity.... I dont know if i could cope with that kind of attachment. Farting in the bed, peeing on the seat.....

Kelsey Jane said...

I relate. I can't tell you moving it is to know I am not the only one feeling these feelings and thinking these thoughts. Thank you.