Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Actually, I was just thinking about myself again.


Sleep is trending right now. I've seen articles all over town about it, especially in magazines we have subscriptions to that I don't read.. The Atlantic, Harpers and the New Yorker. But don't worry when people come up to visit, I fan them out all over the house. 

I desperately wish I was an overachiever in the sleep department, by which I mean an underachiever in the department of needing a lot of it. Un-achieving a lot of hours sleeping while achieving a lot during day time hours working. You know what I mean. The high end of the spectrum is reserved for people like Martha Stewart (clocking 4 hours, a fact which everyone in our world is well aware of, but, was also recently mentioned in this months Vanity Fair - one of my prescriptions which I now can read portions of, especially if I'm not sleeping on plane). The low end of the spectrum is for children and dogs. Rock bottom is for species that make cocoons. (Which are also trending right now. Along with tarot, fermentation and the return of scrunchies. And there you have the Saipua trend report; you're welcome.)



I was in California last week, working on some projects. I was traveling alone and had become strung out on the time change and the 4:00 wake up calls for the flower market (New York florists never hit 28th street before 6:00 - and the best, most fashionable of the set never are seen before 8am! If I want to run into my friend Emily I plan to have lunch in the area.) After a week of 5 hours of sleep a night, I started speaking in tongues during important meetings. I was leaving dinner parties before dinner was served. That low grade sleep deprivation headache hit me by Friday; the kind that makes me wish I could unscrew my eyeballs and take a pressure washer to the inside of my skull. 

Now I'm back at home on the farm, trying to regain my 8-hour routine. I plan to take naps but then always end up working through the afternoon...too focused on accomplishments. Counting them, stacking them up in my brain. Did I do enough today to feel good, to feel right. If I take a hot bath, a long walk with the dog, or even an hour just to lay down...these things also become categorized as things to get done. Self care? Check!

How do I get to the other side of that? To the place where rest just is. Shaking off my own expectations and judgements, walking away from my tickertape inner monologue, leaving my work persona for a moment. I glance out the window at all the trees blowing in a sudden breeze...who am I? 

Oh well, 4o'clock. Time to go tear some shit up on the tractor.


19 comments:

Erin said...

don't have children. or maybe you already do. shit gets shitty.

Camille said...

I think the L.A. flower mart opens around 2, 3? The times I've had to drive down there, I arrive around 5:30 am and most of the good stuff if cleared out. I haul ass around the mart, trying to scour miles of vendors as fast as possible, watching a few of them sell out by 6 am and shut their gates....I'm back in the car by 8 am to sit in traffic for a two or three hour drive home. It's grueling. The selection is better, and I can haggle on prices, but man that is no way to start an event week! Now I just pay a lot more to have it shipped up to the house. I don't know how you do it, what with traveling on top of event work. I think 'self care' belongs on the check list :)

ella said...

You don't. Get to the other side where rest just is, I mean. At least not during waking hours. That's why you need alllll the sleep, it's the only time get a break from the inside of your head. (I say you, but I mean me too.)

Emelie @florainspiro said...

I also wonder how to get to the other side... Pls, let my know if you ever find the answer ;)

Liane said...

scrunchies!!

Lissie said...

Do you mean subscriptions, rather than prescriptions? Maybe that's a Freudian slip...

emily said...

If you refer to moi, mais oui, because I have to pace myself for the eternal haul. And lunch with Ms. S is the reward.

Ally Ann said...

I love your writing. Generally when I catch up on blogs I scan through, but always with yours, I enjoy reading it fully and laugh a bit to myself. You speak the truth.

Miz.November said...

Oh how I wish I were good at sleeping. I happen to require a whole lot of it, myself. But I suck at getting to sleep in the first place. (which could have something to do with requiring more) Hmmm. Your photos, by the way, are just stunningly beautiful. You take photos like that look like old realist still life paintings.

jaime said...

I am big on sleep. I need it or I can't function. I try to get a really god, long oversleeping session at least 3x a week! It's hard to find time, but if you can find a night to pass out early it's worth it!

count buckula said...

I recently made a new rule: no caffeine on nap days.

Casa Mariposa said...

I have a hard time shutting down my brain at times which makes sleep as elusive as the mythical beasts I read about as a kid. But then I remind myself about a babbling idiot I'll be the next day if I don't fall asleep so I visualize myself driving to a town called Sleep, which makes the idea of "going to sleep" more appealing to my brain. Either that or I force myself to think of really boring, repetitive tasks so that I bore myself to sleep. It actually works quite well. So does melatonin and chamomile.

Sarah said...

I love sleeping. And those Dahlias! Jesus, they are stunning.

monica said...

Reading your blog is my break... and my reality check.
Martha always makes me feel shockingly unaccomplished....

NTB said...

This article is very informative and also help us http://softmodo.blogspot.com

sandeep myflowergift said...

The best idea is to give surprise to our friends by sending online gifts and flowers.
order cakes in India

Sagar Khattak said...

Entertainment for Fun... Entertainment Articles, Entertainment News, Entertainment Pictures, Bollywood, Hollywood and Lollywood Pictures and Videos, Entertainment Latest updates, Hot Entertainment News and Pictures Funny Entertainment Pictures, lol Pictures, Funny Pictures and Much More Fun Only on 1 Current Affairs Network
hotcurrentaffairs.com

lies anggie puspita dewi said...

Hello my loved 1 ! I like to say the fact that submit is awesome, nice published and emerge along with nearly all significant infos. I'd just similar to to appear alot morecertainly an improbable and helpful bit of specificsthat you shared this handy knowledge along with us. Please stay us around day similar to this. Thank you for sharing

davia leather
new game kids
toko jaket kulit murah di garut
jaket kulit asli domba
jaket kulit jakarta
jaket kulit
abwaba
permainan terbaru
layali store
permainan games memasak
permainan memasak sara
permainan games barbie
tozca leather

lies anggie puspita dewi said...

Hello my loved 1 ! I like to say the fact that submit is awesome, nice published and emerge along with nearly all significant infos. I'd just similar to to appear alot morecertainly an improbable and helpful bit of specificsthat you shared this handy knowledge along with us. Please stay us around day similar to this. Thank you for sharing

davia leather
new game kids
toko jaket kulit murah di garut
jaket kulit asli domba
jaket kulit jakarta
jaket kulit
abwaba
permainan terbaru
layali store
permainan games memasak
permainan memasak sara
permainan games barbie
tozca leather