Tuesday, December 28, 2010
When Mayor Mike called me the other day - not for a date - but to talk city business - specifically to ask my advise on declaring a snow emergency in NYC I was a bit taken aback.
It went something like this:
Sarah it's Mayor Michael Bloomberg calling -
Hi Mike, I know who it is, duh! We've been dating for - like ever. Secretly I mean. Secret dating. You OK? You sound like shit - does this mean we're not goi---
Right. Well I have an emergency and need your advice on how to get the streets of new york plowed and safe after snOprah.
Well Mike, why don't you start with your own block, East 79th street. Since there are so many people on the upper east side who have to go to work and may get fired if they don't show up...No need to declare an emergency! I'm sure that only people who would try to drive in this weather are those with diabetic children in desperate need of insulin or those of us who have run out of gin - by next Sunday the farthest reaches like Red Hook will finally be cleared - but don't worry about us out here, we all have fireplaces, conversation pits, furry kittens and plenty of frozen poultry. It's actually a party! A really fun party that we don't want anyone else to know about and so it's better if you don't plow us out. Wait! - Whoa someone just set up the ice luge in the hallway - gotta run!