Sunday, July 21, 2013

Metamorphosis.




I'm listening to that Tim McGraw/Taylor Swift pop country ballad hit "Highway" right now, hoping that Amy Febinger, the one friend who is linked on my spotify account doesn't notice that I have listened to it, um, a lot. That and a song called "Red Neck Crazy" by someone I don't know who, but I do know all the lyrics by heart;

"Gonna drive like hell through your neighbourhood
Park this Silverado on your front lawn
Crank up a little Hank, sit on the hood and drink.."

(But it's pronounced "drank" in that country classic sort of way.)

We've been doing lots of farming stuff. Lots of trial and error stuff. Eric's been working on his magnum opus; a chicken coup. I said "where'd you learn how to frame things like that?" He said in a book. So we're learning things, and learning is good. [except I hate learning. I like knowing.]


I've had lot of unstructured time to think and be depressed, which is a normal cycle for me although never easy. Fortunately I'm on the way out of it now. There is really nothing to do but wait it out; the hardest lesson is understanding there are things beyond my control. Letting things just happen to me...allowing feelings to just happen without fighting them. Here at the farm there are not as many distractions from myself.


Wait, we were talking about my recent affinity for country music. I think in the end, I'm just an assimilator. I've noticed other strange things. Like I have a new sort of swagger, and I don't know what else to call it. At the end of the day if I have to drive down to the grocery store in my farm clothes I walk in with a sort of farmer limp/swagger - I'm being completely honest. Once one of the girls at the checkout took a look at me and said "are you doing some logging in the area?" I don't even know what logging really is, but it sounds hard - harder than what I'm doing and so I just sort of nodded. Yes. Yes I am logging. And blogging.























These flowers are from a few weeks ago. The campanula is my favorite thing here, it's just about done now after a nice month long run in my cutting garden. I have not been playing much with flowers. As I mentioned earlier, things are looking up and I will start again.

14 comments:

Jen said...

Logging and Blogging--reminds me of a band I once knew--Crying and Driving.

Love your blog, your farm, your flowers, your honesty. your wit/despair/beauty. And if you ever want to log, call me--I have many acres of woods in the Catskills.

Bow Street Flowers said...

I love farm clothes. I love them more and more. Although I don't have a farm. I think I wear farm clothes everyday.

Atelier Carmel said...

I'm jealous of your farm clothes... I'd like to wear those, and they'd surely be appropriate for my activities, but then I look like a try-hard hipster... So I've settled on way-less-cool suburban yoga clothes. Keepin' it real.
I want to come to one of the September classes sooo badly... But I'm booked until mid-october. How about some November activities?
As for the eb and flow, thanks for mentioning it, every time I read about yours I feel less guilty about mine...

Dewey Dell said...

Tyler Farr - Redneck Crazy

Elizabeth McMurtry said...

I'm glad to read you are climbing out of dark times. Despite that fact that it doesn't make it easier, it seems to me very healthy that you recognize the process, the part that is out of your control. I feel for you. Much love and patience, may you feel better very very soon.

Sandi said...

Your flowers are so beautiful and I just love the way you can arrange them. You are very creative and down to earth and just love your pictures on your blog.Enjoy your farm.:)

Miz.November said...

I just love reading your posts. Thanks for being a blogger logger. Teeheehee. However, cutting trees just doesn't sound much like you.

bigBANG studio said...

One of the greatest compliments of my life was when I walked into a shop in Bozeman hot off a horse in filthy work clothes and the shopgirl said, "I'm sorry miss but we don't have what you're looking for."

IN BOZEMAN, MONTANA.

Logging and blogging indeed.

Also you should make a WEF calendar of ERIC, SHIRTLESS, DOING FARM STUFF. Git yourself another tractor with the proceeds.

xo.

monica said...

I was wondering about the campanula, it's beautiful!

I'm glad to see hybrid delph too, I was actually gardening the other day, wishing mine hadn't all washed away, and thinking you don't use it much, wondering why, and voila there it is!

Making pizza with Peaches, and Basil, Happy Birthday!

xo Monica

fleur_delicious said...

oh man, been there with the depression cycle. I hate when I have to tell people about it, because so many don't understand that, "no, sorry, the only way to 'fix this' is to wait it out." Ugh, awkward. Glad to hear you're coming out of it - one day at a time.

And holy smokes, is Eric ever tan!

Cruz said...

In a bit of a funk myself! Thanks for sharing. Love your fotos of the flowers and the farm. Wish I could come to your shop, but live in LA!

CJ said...

I love this post! (B)logging and country music - amazing.

My husband mocks Redneck Crazy, but I like it too. Add Darius Rucker, Wagon Wheel to your playlist if it isn't already on there. It'll be in your head forver.

Amy Febinger said...

Ummm...have you seen that I have been listening to Metronomy "Everything Goes My Way" on constant repeat? No judgements here. I'm really just getting it ready for the barn performance space. Along with the Cure's "Boys Don't Cry"

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