I'm listening to that Tim McGraw/Taylor Swift pop country ballad hit "Highway" right now, hoping that Amy Febinger, the one friend who is linked on my spotify account doesn't notice that I have listened to it, um, a lot. That and a song called "Red Neck Crazy" by someone I don't know who, but I do know all the lyrics by heart;
"Gonna drive like hell through your neighbourhood
Park this Silverado on your front lawn
Crank up a little Hank, sit on the hood and drink.."
(But it's pronounced "drank" in that country classic sort of way.)
We've been doing lots of farming stuff. Lots of trial and error stuff. Eric's been working on his magnum opus; a chicken coup. I said "where'd you learn how to frame things like that?" He said in a book. So we're learning things, and learning is good. [except I hate learning. I like knowing.]
I've had lot of unstructured time to think and be depressed, which is a normal cycle for me although never easy. Fortunately I'm on the way out of it now. There is really nothing to do but wait it out; the hardest lesson is understanding there are things beyond my control. Letting things just happen to me...allowing feelings to just happen without fighting them. Here at the farm there are not as many distractions from myself.
Wait, we were talking about my recent affinity for country music. I think in the end, I'm just an assimilator. I've noticed other strange things. Like I have a new sort of swagger, and I don't know what else to call it. At the end of the day if I have to drive down to the grocery store in my farm clothes I walk in with a sort of farmer limp/swagger - I'm being completely honest. Once one of the girls at the checkout took a look at me and said "are you doing some logging in the area?" I don't even know what logging really is, but it sounds hard - harder than what I'm doing and so I just sort of nodded. Yes. Yes I am logging. And blogging.
These flowers are from a few weeks ago. The campanula is my favorite thing here, it's just about done now after a nice month long run in my cutting garden. I have not been playing much with flowers. As I mentioned earlier, things are looking up and I will start again.