the hadron collider and how I got one step closer to living *in the moment*
Last night Eric and I hit up an opening in Chelsea, and then returned home late to feast on fresh figs (thanks to P, I remembered a pint in my fridge from Monday) with boucheron, rosemary bread and the most beautiful olive oil ever - a deep green color - i don't know what the hype about extra-extra virgin olive oil is, it tastes good when you can taste the sweetness of the olives - in the way olives can be kind of off-sweet I guess...anyway this was paradise - we actually left Red Hook for an evening, and we were eating food of the gods. Perfect, that is, until ERic brought up the subject of the Hadron Super Collider (say Collider like Arnold Swartzenager would...SU-PA COLE-I-DUH) and the evening went to shit. That is to say, I had successfully forgotten about the Hadrom for the past month, and now remembering that they are about to turn it on, felt an instant wave of panic. Eric pushed this further with me by comparing the experiment to a Philip K. Dick novel in which alternative dimensions are found to be co-existing with the present one...mind warping shit like this always gets my goat - in a good - but doomed sort of way I guess. We continued on this topic for a few more minutes while I silently continued my interior downward panic spiral. Then, looking out the window at the house across the street (where the TV is on 24 hours a day) something dawned on me....are you still with me? I thought...as much as I worry about the air suddenly imploding in a fire-y black-hole Armageddon, at this very moment, I can watch the TV flicker from across the street. And the next moment I can still see the TV flicker. And all night, in each moment I can look out and see it. And finally for a hot second I understood what it means to live in the experience of an insular moment. Are you rolling your eyes right now? That's fine! But for me this was somewhat of an epiphany. This coming from a girl who's favorite game to play in Autumn as a child involved scurrying around the yard collecting acorns and berries for the "nuclear winter." Thank you for listening.
IN other more appropriate news...I'm sitting on boxes of gorgeous flowers for a very exciting photo shoot* tomorrow and two weddings. I promise to show some pics later this afternoon.